( he can't decide if it's humorously ironic or simply infuriating that him getting angry at J making a tasteless joke was the thing that left a door cracked open into his direct internality for the demon, but... well, it's actually probably both, truth be told.

given that it had been in a public forum among the Kenoma, thoughts and feelings and words all layering over one another, it had seemed inconsequential to respond to one that he clearly identified as J's. it had been less personal, less alarming than something direct between them, but --

it's a matter of self-control. like many things when J was involved, makoto had shut him out largely as a security measure; he often feels as though he cannot trust himself when the man is involved. it's not as though he has much to hide -- what is there about himself or his goals that the other demon doesn't already know or that makoto hasn't plainly told him to his face? -- but... it seems too much like allowing himself an obvious impediment. it's already so hard for him to focus when around J physically, but if he can reach out to him mentally at any time?

and yet... when he does, makoto fails to slam the metaphorical door shut. there's a faint shudder to the connection, like a candle flame guttering as it threatened to go out, and then the waters go still. he forces them to.

well, except for a continued static buzz of annoyance, which he feels is safe enough. ) Of course you wouldn't see fit to be content with what I'd given you.

What, is there something in particular you're curious about?